


Just Know You’re Not Alone

by Burrahobbit



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Good Parent Hank Anderson, LGBTQ Themes, connor is confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burrahobbit/pseuds/Burrahobbit
Summary: Connor isn’t sure exactly what he’s feeling. He goes to Hank for help.





	Just Know You’re Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Everything in this fic is based on my own experiences/knowledge when it comes to gender. Others can have wildly different experiences. I am but a simple nb projecting gender feelings onto fictional characters.

Connor has never been so nervous in his life. 

It’s true that he’s been in plenty of stressful situations, but those were always during cases. He was programmed for that, and always knew exactly what he was doing when he was carrying out an investigation.

He’s very unsure of himself now. This is outside his normal experiences - outside everything he’s ever known.

“...Hank?”

The lieutenant looks up from the TV. He furrows his brow, pausing whatever was on the TV to give his full attention to Connor.

“You look like somethin’ serious is on your mind. What’s up?”

Connor looks down at his hands. He can feel them trembling, though he’s attempted to still them.

“I-I...”

“Jesus fuck, kid, I’m sure you’re gettin’ yourself too worked up. It’s alright.”

With a deep breath, Connor looks up at him.

“There’s... something I need to talk about. I’m not sure I fully understand it, but... I feel as though I should say something.”

“Well, y’know you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But, hell, it might help, if you wanna.”

Connor nods - it’s nice to know that there isn’t any pressure to get this out.

To be honest, as much as Connor has pondered on this subject, he isn’t really certain how to begin.

“I... I have been thinking a lot lately. Feeling a lot. But it’s- peculiar. I’m not sure where to begin.”

“Take your time,” Hank encourages. “Go slow.”

The android lets out a frustrated breath. Being unable to express himself is annoying, to say the least.

“I’m experiencing- troubling feelings. Feelings that I don’t quite understand.”

After a pause of Connor saying nothing, Hank nods slowly. “And these feelings are...?”

Connor isn’t sure how to describe it - how do you describe a feeling you’ve never heard of or experienced before?

“It’s like- there are times when everything is fine. I am okay with who I am, and how others see me. And other times... I don’t know. I get- sad? Angry? About my appearance, or how others address me, or even what I’m wearing. And I don’t understand it.”

He feels broken. Malfunctioning. It scares him, more than he’d ever admit. This can’t be normal, can it?

For a long moment, Hank’s face shows clear confusion. Then, slowly, he seems to understand something.

“...You mean, like, gender dysphoria?”

His mind automatically provides the definition: the condition of feeling one’s emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one’s biological sex.

It’s... startlingly close. Things are beginning to snap into place in the android’s head.

“I don’t have a biological sex, though,” Connor says.

“Yeah, but you’re made to look like a man, and they certainly programmed some sense of gender into that fuckin brain of yours.”

That is certainly true, and Connor has definitely been feeling something similar to the human definition of dysphoria.

“So, is that what you’re feeling?”

“I...” Connor’s words stick in his throat a little, because _wow,_ there’s really a word for this, he realizes. “I think so. Or something approximating it.”

Hank seems pleased at his discovery.

“Okay, so you’re not male. Or, not entirely. Have you figured out at all what gender you prefer?”

Until now, he hadn’t even realized that gender was the _problem._

“Not really. I- I don’t think I’d like to be female. But being male doesn’t seem right, either. How can that be possible?”

Hank thinks this over. “Well, maybe you’re nonbinary then.”

Once again, his mind supplies the definition to the unfamiliar word: Genderqueer, also known as non-binary, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine—identities which are outside the gender binary and cisnormativity.

Connor’s heart fills with warmth as he realizes that it’s exactly what he’s been feeling. 

“Yes!” That came out a little more energetic than he’d intended. “Yes, I- I think that’s it. I’m... I am nonbinary.”

Even just saying the word gives Connor some excitement.

Hank shakes his head fondly.

“Glad to have helped you, kid.”

The lieutenant leaves him be to think, going back to watching TV. Connor appreciates not being pressured for anything else.

_Nonbinary._

He researches more on what being nonbinary entails - the internet is full of information about the topic, to his surprise.

He’s not alone. _He’s not alone._

It makes him feel a little better, to see so many people struggling with the same feelings that Connor is. Seeing all these people talking about their experiences is helping him figure out his own. 

The topic of pronouns comes up as he’s searching.

Does Connor want different pronouns? The thought has never occurred to him, until now.

People’s pronouns for him had naturally changed from ‘it’ to ‘him’ as androids began to be seen as people. Would it be a stretch to think that those pronouns couldn’t change to something else?

There are many different pronouns that people seem to use. As he looks through them, Connor settles on one in particular.

“Hank?”

“Yeah?”

“I... I believe I’d like to be referred to with gender-neutral they/them pronouns, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Hank smiles, lightly ruffling Connor’s hair.

“Of course I wouldn’t mind. I’m proud of you for asking.”

Connor smiles, straightening out their messed-up hair with a fond kind of annoyance.

“Thank you. For everything,” they say.

“It’s no problem, kid. I’d be a dick to say no. And if anyone gives you shit about it, make sure to knock ‘em the fuck out.”

Connor doubts that they’d have to go through such extreme measures simply for someone misgendering them, but Hank’s acceptance does feel nice.

“That should be all, for now. I appreciate you listening.”

“Any time.”

Hank turns to back the TV once again. Instead of watching, Connor continues to scour the Internet for more information, hoping to understand more.

They’re a little nervous about how the other DPD officers will react, but for now, that worry is pushed back in favor of a feeling of belonging.

Connor is incredibly happy that they talked to Hank about this. The pros have far outweighed the cons.

They switch back to viewing the TV, relaxing back into the couch and savoring the warm feeling in their chest.

**Author's Note:**

> You all seemed to like non-conforming Connor in one of my previous fics, so I wanted to write a little of Connor exploring gender! Because, y’know, robots don’t really have gender. Hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
